Heart's on the Outside: What I've Learned: Part One

I call this part one because, undoubtedly, I will (humbly) learn more throughout this process.

You know that whole "9 months" stuff, well that's a lie. Pregnancy is actually 10 months. I think they say that to convince you that it's not that bad. In addition to that weird misnomer, when you say you're 20 weeks pregnant, you're actually 21 weeks. Or when I say I'm 5 months, I'm actually going into my 6th month. I actually have no reasonable explanation for this other than what someone tried to explain to me. I turned 26 but I'm going into my 27th year of life, I guess it's like that. Regardless, I'm awful at math and this just confuses me more than need be. (Can anyone explain this further to me?)

Your belly button will be weird looking and not just right before baby makes their appearance.

My poor belly button ring had to be retired. This wasn't a decision that was made lightly. My belly button has only been ringless for all of two weeks since I was 17 and that was only because I was having stomach surgery. It was just getting uncomfortable and looking kind of odd. I know there are some women who can wear theirs up until birth but mine was not having that business. I did order a maternity ring on etsy that's made of a flexible plastic that will hopefully work well. This morning when I saw my belly button, sans ring, I was shocked. It's starting to pop out. It's stretching and looking more and more alien like. I can kind of stretch it in a weird way and pop it totally out, then I like to tell people (not strangers, more like my mom and Thomas) to touch that skin. It's like virgin skin, incredibly soft and kind of creepy.

I know, I know, my first post was all "screw you, I'm not finding out and baby will wear sage green and yellow!" But since finding out that Porkchop is, in fact, June Elizabeth - a sweet baby girl - I cannot stop hoarding pink/purple/pretty clothes. Up until the ultrasound I was still convinced that I wouldn't go "girl" or "boy" crazy but I did. And I love it. And I'm eating my words, they taste adorable and frilly.

I've never been opposed to hand-me-downs, I just haven't been the recipient of many. I do, occasionally, get a bag of "to donate" clothes from my make-shift cousin and that's like shopping on Christmas morning but that's it. Even as a kid, I didn't wear them - I was the oldest. So when my friend Robyn told me I could come over and go through her daughter's clothes, I was stoked. Little did I know how awesome it was going to be. I have three drawers full of sweet baby clothes in sizes from 3months to 12 months. Not only am I saving money but I know Robyn was excited to get to share her little sweetie's clothes. (And, get this, Robyn has offered to sew me maternity capris...you have no idea how much this means to me and how excited I am!)

Saturday morning I woke up too early. I was pissed. But I took that angry energy and turned it into cleaning energy. I cleaned out my dresser, whittling my tank top drawer in half (a huge feat if you knew my obsession with tank tops) and came out with a bag of donations. Today after meeting with the aforementioned Robyn I bought two storage towers with three drawers in each. I cleaned off my incredibly messy desk, organized my shoes, put away some clean clothes and then I organized all the baby clothes I have so far by size and labeled the drawers. I am now exhausted but holy crap, I got a lot done! I may just work on that blanket I'm crocheting now...

I was fully prepared to become this raging psycho bitch, which at times, I have been but overall I have calmed down considerably. While some people that deal with me on an everyday basis might not see it, I really feel more level and collected than I ever have. I'm not as controlling and I've learned to let plans slide and change. If I were not pregnant and Thomas and I had not agreed on something, I would have fought tooth and nail to get what I want. But now, while I'm not "giving in" and just being submissive, I can honestly say that I'm giving up some of that controlling part of me and sharing so much more of my life with him.

Yesterday was Mother's Day and while I didn't expect anything for myself, I was surprised by a sweet frame with a note saying "I can't wait for our first family picture" from Thomas. Then later my mom and dad gave me an adorable baby sweater and some hair clips, my sister gave me sweet little ballerina socks and my brother gave me a cute pair of overalls and a Mickey Mouse onesie (today he also gave me a precious dress, I swear he goes shopping every day for June). While I love getting gifts wrapped up, my favorite gift of the day was actually from June. Thomas and I were laying in bed and she was flipping around like crazy. I kept grabbing his hand and she would stop moving. Finally I gently placed his hand very lightly on my belly and he kept it there for a minute and felt her move! It was the best ending to my first Mother's (in progress) Day.

Moms out there, what did you learn by being pregnant that surprised you?

Heart's on the Outside