Today was my last Saturday as a stay at home mom. I tried to soak it in and enjoy it but my nerves got the best of me. I'm excited, don't get me wrong but there's also a feeling of anxiety and nervousness. I can't exactly put my finger on it. It's not because of June going to daycare - she'll be with my mom all day long and she's going to love it and it will be like being home. I think the sense of anxiety is coming from a place of insecurity and self doubt.
Am I good enough?
Will I be able to handle a full time job and a baby and a husband and maintain my house?
Will June think I'm abandoning her?
What if it turns out that I'm actually really stupid and can't do anything right?
What if I get lost on my first day and arrive really late?
(just kidding, that one would never happen.)
Moms, how did you handle going back to work? Or in my case, going to work for the first time? Any tips, ideas, hints, positive vibes you can dole out? I'd love to hear about how you get out the door in the morning and manage to look presentable!
And now, the highlight of my life:
Amber it's tough! I won't lie to you. There will be days when you run late, forget her favorite blanky or find you mind wandering far far away from your work right there at your desk. I think there are some thongs a working mom must come to terms with ( and I am still learning):
ReplyDelete1. You cannot do it all. It's simply not possible. Some women may tell you that they can or actually succeed at doing it all, they are either lying to save face or wonder women.
2. You must have help at home. you and I have the luxury of a spouse at home. You have to ask for assistance. With cleaning, shopping, getting the baby ready.....really whatever you could use a second hand for ask. I think as Moms we tend to try and do everything because we think we know how to do it better. Really there isn't a better way to pack the baby's bag... So long as everything g is in there it's good ( this was a tough one for me for reasons that boggle the mind).
3. Learn to accept the new version of clean. The house can't be "Show Ready" at all times. Somewhere along the way you will learn its ok for there to be a pile of " we will get to it" on the table. And toys all over the living room.
4. For your sake, Junes sake and Thomas sake.... Take some you time on occasion. this is by far the most difficult. You feel like you can't, but you can and you really need to. You won't want to especially at first, you will want every moment she is awake and you are at home to be filled with her in your arms. You can maintain this for a while but eventually you must take you time, away from work and family ( I recommend the gym, you will actually end up with more energy in the long run).
ok that was a lot of info from someone you don't really know all that well. once I got started it was like a runaway train of "should do". I am sure you will be great, you are surrounded by loving helpful family and knowing you are providing for your sweet baby girl really does make it much easier to handle. Much luck!
~Taneatha
Taneatha, that's exactly what I needed to hear! I do comedy one night a week but I already feel guilty about that. I definitely think I will need to give myself some slack when it comes to the house. I know it's not always super clean right now and I can't imagine how it's going to be when I'm not home all the time. Thank you for all the hints! :)
ReplyDeleteTips on getting out the door:
ReplyDelete1. Pack your lunch/snacks & Junie's bag the night before.
2. Wake up early- not sure if T will still drop J at your moms but yes, ask for his help dressing her and putting her in the car while u run around got last minute things.
You can do this, you will be great at whatever you are doing and knowing you are providing for June does help. You are not taking her to a stranger, it is your mom (u know weird voice angel/heaven talking mom) who loves June maybe even more than her own kids ; ) I think once you get your first week out of the way you will feel much better.