June in Charge of My Days and My Nights, My Wrongs and My Rights.

She hates being compared to Scott Baio.

June Elizabeth is six weeks old. It's incredible how beautiful, funny and smart she is becoming. We've made some major changes and they are allowing me to enjoy her even more. I no longer breastfeed or pump. I'm not going to make this post about the pros or cons of breast vs. bottle or anything because I am a strong advocate for whatever works for YOU, as long as you make an informed decision, is best for your family. I developed mastitis twice and until you've had an infection in your boob plus bleeding nipples all while trying to care for a newborn, please don't tell me to "nurse through it" and "just get over it." Not only do you feel like you've been hit by a truck while you've had the flu, your boob also hurts like an angry swarm of bees attacked you. Not fun once, and especially not fun twice. So there was that issue. Plus, I was on a myriad of antibiotics after my first D&C and second kidney infection and one of them gave her a terrible rash. So even pumping was difficult because I was dumping the milk. I had to pump and dump on four separate occasions due to medications and being put under anesthesia for the first D&C. So, bottom line, Junie is now on formula and she's doing wonderfully. I feel confident that we did the right thing because not only do I feel better but now I can get a good 4-5 hour stretch of sleep while Daddy gets up with her at night!

Having a newborn is crazy. She is an insanely good baby; doesn't cry for erroneous reasons, is happy being held or chilling in her swing, and eats on a wonderful schedule. But, still, there are struggles. Lack of sleep wears down your body and your mind. I've heard that your brain shrinks to accommodate lack of sleep which I'm sure will become evident when I start trying to write again. It's not as bad when you have an incredible partner who is willing to take care of things at 3am but having your sleep interrupted several times a night is rough. Even between 3am and 7am, when Thomas gets up with her, I still hear her and wake up, often having trouble falling back to sleep. Some days I beg her not to sleep so much during the day so maybe she'll sleep longer at night but then some days, like today, I implore her to just fall asleep already so I can sneak in a little nap. Poor baby, she's getting such mixed messages.

I'm officially one week out from having my second D&C and second blood transfusion. Dr. Man performed this one and even though I felt really icky for the first few days, I am feeling like a new person now. It was pretty scary hearing him tell me how the surgery went. Apparently I hemorrhaged so badly that he thought he was going to have to perform a hysterectomy. However, he got it under control and I still have my lady organs. Thank goodness. The only thing I now worry about, somewhat incessantly, is that with my next baby I will more than likely have to have a c-section. I have to tell you, I'm terrified already. Not because I'm afraid of surgery or anything of the sort (heck, I just had TWO surgeries within two weeks, no biggie) but because I was so determined to have a drug free birth next time. I felt so out of control with June's birth and truly believed that I could do it drug free. If that dang pitocin hadn't been in my system I'm sure that I could have done it without the epidural. 

What do you post c-section ladies think? Is the recovery bad? My doctor seems to think that I would have had a far smoother and faster recovery if we had done a c-section.