Supportive Mommas

This evening I was doing some light reading and researching on breastfeeding. When Junie was a baby I was under an insane amount of duress and breastfeeding just didn't work. You can read about that here. I still have some trace of guilt about that especially because my supply was so amazing. I breastfed her for three weeks, developed mastitis, then had my first surgery, then a blood transfusion, then mastitis again and after 2 weeks of exclusively pumping I had had enough. My body needed my attention to be on my own health and after one more surgery and having to pump every three hours just to dump all of that precious milk, I broke. I was done. I could not possibly dedicate one more tear filled hour to trying to feed my baby. I woke up dreading June waking up and having to feed her. I didn't do much research about breastfeeding before she was born because I was very focused on the birth rather than the food. I assumed it would come naturally and that we would be a professional breastfeeding team. None of my plans came to fruition. Not a drug free birth and not breastfeeding.

So this time, knowing that I will have a c-section, I am doing more research. I am taking classes. I am reading books. I am chatting with other moms. In looking for a good nursing bra I came across a great resource - Bravado. They have gorgeous nursing bras (even in my size! woohoo!) and a wealth of information. The article that really caught my eye was this one about the role that your own mother plays in your breastfeeding success. My mom was amazingly supportive of me while I struggled to breastfeed June. She called her friend, a former lactation consultant and baby nurse, to help me with our latch. She called my doula when my nipples were cracked and bloody. She brought me food when I was crying in the corner trying to feed my baby. She had nursed all three of us (my brother was breastfed until 13-14 months and she only stopped because he wanted to) and loved that special bond that it created. Just the other day she said, "I really hope you can breastfeed this baby. It's so special!" All of this support and love without the passing of judgement when I made the hard decision to bottle feed June. I wish everyone had this same level of support that I had.

I rarely faced any negativity when it came to breastfeeding. The closest I came to that was an older family member telling me that it was okay to feed June a bottle and that all of her babies were fed with formula and they were fine (which was debatable). It came out of a place of honesty and care though - she saw me struggling and I'm sure was trying to be reassuring. 

So ladies, what are your thoughts on that article? Was your mom supportive of your breastfeeding? Were you breastfed as a baby? Do you agree that beside your partner your mother is the biggest important supporter of breastfeeding? Let's get talking about boobs!

I at least know this much.

18 Weeks and Some Change

Not literal change like things are changing but change like "and a few days."

I guess literal change too. My body is definitely changing, so there's that.

After I had June I lost all of the 47 pounds I gained fairly quickly. I was breastfeeding as well as on the verge of death so that helped shed the weight pretty fast. The only problem was that after that initial loss, my weight stayed the same for a while and then started creeping up again. Having a baby plus stress plus more stress plus a brand new job apparently leads to a little weight gain. My official starting weight was 179. 

The first trimester was rough on me. I was pretty sick all day, nearly every day for the first 12 weeks. One morning I was sitting on the couch struggling to get ready for work, crying and having a small pity party. Thomas asked what was wrong and I replied, "I just don't remember it being this hard!" His response, "I do." Poor guy. He didn't forget watching me throw up every morning and evening, trying to find food that tasted okay and keeping my body fed. At my 8 week appointment I had lost 5 pounds. At my 14 week appointment I was still down 2 pounds.

Then I got the flu, twice. The first one wasn't so bad, beside the constant puking for three days straight. I didn't quite feel sick but I couldn't keep anything down and was quickly becoming dehydrated. This was around 15 weeks. I stepped on the scale at the hospital and I was down to 172. 7 pounds from when I got pregnant. I started feeling better but got hit again with the flu this past weekend. Friday was a day of vomit for me and a day of runny tummy (diarrhea) for June. It was rough. Luckily it was only a 24 hour bug and we both felt okay by Saturday. My appetite was somewhat back by then. 

Today I had an appointment with Dr. Man. I was convinced that I was going to have gained at least 8 pounds from my 14 week weight. I just feel my belly betting bigger and my hips expanding. Imagine my shock when I stepped on the scale and I was only 180! I've only gained one pound, officially. I truly want to watch my weight during this pregnancy and would love to stay under 200 pounds. That would mean I would have to keep my weight gain to 22 pounds. I know this can be done. Dr. Man suggested I look into the diet that gestational diabetics follow. It's basically a low carb, high protein diet. It sounds hard to me only because I love sugar and that would be something I have to keep in check but at the end of the day, if that means that I keep my weight gain to a minimum and still grow a healthy baby, I can do it. 

Has anyone ever been diagnosed with gestational diabetes or followed the diet? I will be officially tested in about 10 weeks but with June I failed the one hour and passed the three hour. I would love any advice or suggestions you have from experience! 

And now here's a little timeline of my belly:

I somehow lost week 16. I just cried about it. Don't worry. I'm okay. Just an emotional wreck.

 

Thankful

Last Thanksgiving was rough for the Kelloggs. You can read about our troubles here. The past year in general has been full of triumphs and tribulations for our family. Between giving birth to the most amazing child to having our dream wedding and then the blow of four surgeries and my health sharply declining, we hardly had time to catch our breath. 

Following my last surgery in March we were advised to try to get pregnant right away. We figured that it would happen naturally, like June. We gave my body some time following surgery to rest and started trying at the end of March. I've been tracking my periods for several years now and have become really in tune with my body so I didn't want to bother with any of the tests. April's period came and went. It was shorter than my periods had been before I had the baby. I thought it was just my body changing.

We tried again in April and this time my ovulation was confirmed via ultrasound by Dr. Latino. I was dead on about figuring when that was and it was pretty cool. I knew we had timed everything perfectly. But May came and I got my period, it was very short though. No worries, we had only tried for two months. 

I really wanted a February baby so I started to get serious about things in May. I started using ovulation predictor kits and tested the week before I thought I would ovulate. It turns out I was ovulating a few days later than what I assumed. We tried in May. In June, I got my period. It was even shorter than May's. I wasn't getting my February baby.

In June I started taking my temperature to measure my basal body temp. Another step in becoming serious about conceiving. All of this was becoming tiring and we were only four months in. But I desperately wanted June to have a sibling so I stopped thinking about it as a hassle and started thinking about it as what we had to do, a part of life. The week before my period in June I began to get depressed. We had just moved to our new home and being a full time stay at home mom left a lot of time for me to browse the internet. I read countless stories of women with Asherman's syndrome getting pregnant and losing the baby at all points of pregnancy. 

I had decided to take charge of the situation and call Dr.Man to discuss further tests. We had talked about a hysterosonogram - a test to see how open the uterus is as well as the fallopian tubes. I called to schedule the test and it had to be two weeks after my period.
My period came. It was only one day long. This was even more depressing because I knew this meant that my uterus was progressively scarring more and more and my chances of getting pregnant were becoming more slim as each month passed. I called to schedule the test and I found out that my insurance had been cancelled. This was adding to the increasing stress I felt. 

In mid-July I got my new job. I didn't have insurance, I was stressed and I needed to re-evaluate everything. Thomas and I talked for days on end about what we were going to do. We decided to stop trying to conceive. June was enough for us and we were lucky to have survived all of my health problems. We had been trying for 5 months and my body was telling me that it just wasn't going to happen. I put away all of the tests I had left, I unsubscribed to the trying to conceive newsletters and put my energy into work. 

At the end of July I had a 3 hour period. Yes, 3 hours. I sobbed. Not because it meant I wasn't pregnant but because that was the final straw of my body telling me that it was done. My uterus was closing for good.

August was busy. Work, family, the new house, I was planning for June's 1st birthday party, I was in a wedding, etc. I knew that my period was due at the end of the month but I had stopped really thinking about it. I figured it wasn't going to come and that when I finally had insurance again I would have to call Dr. Latino and figure out where to go from there. I didn't get my period. 

But I felt weird. Like something was off. Thomas and I were driving home from a family birthday party and I decided I should get a pregnancy test. It made me so sad though. The thought of testing again and it being negative again was just killing me. When we got home Thomas put June in her bed and took Henry on a walk. I built up the courage to pee on the stick. Tears ran down my cheeks as I stared at the test in disbelief. Nearly immediately it turned positive. We had given up. We were pregnant. 

The first few weeks were rough. I was constantly sick. I had the fear of losing the baby. I bled, I cramped, but everything was fine. They set my due date as May 5, 2013. 

As I got farther along, the ultrasounds starting showing that I was farther along than we thought. 

I saw a high risk perinatologist at 11 weeks. He sat with Thomas and I for nearly 30 minutes and went over every question we had. He proceeded to do an ultrasound. The baby was perfect. My uterus was perfect. I was nearly completely healed. Even the doctor called it a miracle. This baby is a miracle. 

Our due date was moved to April 29 and baby is measuring a week bigger than that as well. We find on December 14th if baby is a girl or boy.

June and new baby Kellogg will be 19 months apart. We are overjoyed and thrilled and will never sleep again.

Fourteen Months!

My darling child is fourteen months old. 

June is a crazy, busy, fun girl. She loves her daddy (mommy too but she's a daddy's girl). This past weekend she was pretty cuddly with me and it was wonderful. She's usually too busy to cuddle!

This month she's kind of kept the status quo with her abilities. I can tell she's trying to talk more but not really any more definitive words. Sleeping has been rough but she's also getting several teeth. Poor kid has gotten 3 teeth in the past month and two more are breaking through, including a molar.

So let's take a look at our milestone chart:

Child's Age

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do

 

14 months

Eats with fingers Empties containers of contents Imitates others

Toddles well Initiates games Points to one body part when asked Responds to instructions (e.g., "give me a kiss")

Uses a spoon or fork Matches lids with appropriate containers Pushes and pulls toys while walking

June has been eating with her fingers since 6 months, she's got that down! She loves emptying (and refilling) containers of their contents. And definitely can imitate others.

She is full on running these days so I'd say she toddles well! She loves peek-a-boo and can clap along to songs. She is also really good with instructions. She can bring us her shoes or socks when we ask.

She's starting using a spoon and fork this month! She's been doing really well with both! I don't know that she can match lids, we don't really have anything to test that with - only wipe containers. She can surely push and pull toys while walking and has for a few months. 

It's been a really fun few months in the Kellogg house with June really becoming a toddler. She is so passionate and curious. (Right now she's coming over and pretending to kiss me but runs away when I try to kiss her. She thinks it's so funny to psyche me out with her kisses!) 

Now for some cute pictures.

Yeah, I know.

June's first football game. UNIMPRESSED.

Also, come back Thursday. I have a blog about what I'm thankful ready to post!

Halloween in November

Halloween was a while ago. Like almost two weeks ago. But that's not going to stop me from giving you the play-by-play of June's first (real) Halloween night.

The day before my mom had a very fun Halloween parade with all of the daycare kids. We had two Spidermans, a family of Bees, a Merida, a ninja, a German beer girl, an Air Force pilot and my little Katniss Everdeen. June has been teething for what seems like months and her nap schedule has been all over the place. Unfortunately these two days - the day before and Halloween day - her sleep was pretty bad. So my baby Katniss was snotty and sad but still adorable. 

Our dear friend, Ashli, made her bow and arrow for her birthday which is gave me the idea for the costume.

Halloween night Thomas and I loaded up June and we went to my mom's house. We had dinner, got June dressed, I did my make-up and we headed out. I was dressed as Effie, June as Katniss and we put a blue bow on Henry to make him Lady, the goat. (I realize that if you've never read The Hunger Games little of this makes sense but trust me, it was cute. Also, Thomas was supposed to be Haymitch but we couldn't find his wig. Sad.) My mom's friend, Maryann, lives two doors down so we went to her house to trick-or-treat first. We walked up, June knocked on the door (she loves knocking on pretty much everything), and Maryann answered. She was thrilled to see June dressed up. June, however, was confused. She tried to walk into Maryann's house and was terribly sad that we didn't let her. I think what was going on in her head was that when we knock on doors, we are allowed to go into the house. Why on earth would we not go into this house? The lack of sleep, the teething, and the confusion of our first trick-or-treating outing had gotten to her. We thanked Maryann for our two Twix bars and walked back to my parents' house.

This was before we headed out. Excuse the fact that she was in the bathroom. For some reason she was singing If You're Happy and You Know It in the bathroom with my mom.

June loved watching what few kids came to our house from the porch. She cuddled with her Auntie Em and looked at the boys and girls walking by. Our night ended when we got home at 730. I put up a sign on our door that said, "We don't have any candy and our baby is sleeping. Please don't knock." I felt like an old scrooge but Junie needed her sleep! 

I hope next year June gets the hang of candy and costumes. Overall, she was cute, went to bed and slept through the night so I guess we can't complain too much!