Vows

I've been wanting to post this for a while. Our one year wedding anniversary was December 23 and it had been a crazy first year of marriage. We continued to deal with my health complications, struggled to get pregnant, then actually got pregnant after we gave up, all while raising a free spirited daughter and trying to focus on our relationship. But here we are 14 months into a marriage, nearly 6 years into our relationship and we're both still standing.

Our vows were special. They were written by our officiant and rang true throughout our life. I love reading them because even though it's not the words that are the important part, it's the feeling behind them, I still need to be reminded of what we promised to each other. I've been neglecting our relationship and blaming the babies but it's time to put on my wife panties and be the woman Thomas married. (I have no idea what I mean by wife panties so don't ask.)

Here are our vows. We did say hell yeah and it was perfect. Thomas sang part of his and it was truly an encapsulation of my husband.

Thomas, do you take Amber to be your wife? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, forsaking all others and holding only unto her? (Hell yeah)

Will you please repeat this vow to Amber, saying after me: I, Thomas, take you, Amber, to be my wife and companion. I will be your rock. I will be your endless supply of hugs and kisses. I will be steadfast in times of peril. I will turn cartwheels in times of celebration. I will love you as the beautiful, young woman you are today, and I will love you as the cranky, crotchety old woman that you will some day become. I will be your man—yours and yours alone. And I will be that man forever and ever after.

Amber, do you take Thomas to be your husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only unto him? (Hell yeah)

Will you please repeat this vow to Thomas, saying after me: I, Amber, take you, Thomas, to be my husband and companion. I will be your rock. I will be your endless supply of hugs and kisses. I will be steadfast in times of peril. I will turn cartwheels in times of celebration. I will love you as the handsome, young man that you are today, and I will love you as the hunch-backed, ornery old man that you will some day become. I will be your woman—yours and yours alone. And I will be that woman forever and ever after.

We also danced to "Forever and Ever, Amen" by Randy Travis.

Forever and ever. And ever.

17 Months, 30 Weeks and Hospital Visits

Apparently I'm going to write once a month from here on out. Sorry, I'm a slacker! I can't even lie and say that I've been doing fun things. If you follow me on Instagram (find me - AmberKellogg) you'll have seen that a lot of what I've been doing is...laying around. And complaining. And eating. But today is a good day. I napped for a solid hour in which I was out cold and it felt like 4 hours. Absolutely wonderful. So let's move onto the kiddos.

June is now 17 months old and it's so weird to me that she's almost a year and a half. I really wonder how the pregnancy has changed her. She's so smart and I often wonder if she's growing up faster because of how fast my body and our family is changing. Does that make sense? She's a sweet, sweet baby these days. She has been giving me completely free kisses where she will be playing around the house, come over to me, put all of her stuff down and kiss me. It is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. Seriously. So incredible. Let's look at our Baby Center Chart.

Child's Age

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)

17 months

Uses six wordsregularly Enjoys pretend games Likes riding toys

Feeds doll Speaks more clearly Throws a ball underhand

Dances to music Sorts toys by color, shape, or size Kicks ball forward

Her words are still not completely there. I would say she uses 6 words - yeah, hi, momma/mommy, daddy...maybe not 6. She has said several words within the past week completely out of the blue, like Mickey. I had a Mickey Mouse mug and she looked at it and said, "Mickey!" Loved it. Also, what do you think about counting "momma" and "mommy" as different words? Because they're not the same but they are very close. Moving on, she does enjoy pretend games like playing with her baby doll. She nurses her baby, puts the baby to sleep, and today I even got a picture of her laying down for her nap with her baby. She's LOVED riding toys since she was like 11 months old. Still does.

She does feed her doll, like I said before. She is so cute nursing her dolls. I love that she just naturally does it even though she only nursed for a few weeks as a newborn. It's just such a natural instinct and she definitely picked that up. Speaking more clearly...oh man. Well, I guess she is but it's really not super clear still. She said, "please" the other day and that was pretty clear and a new word but it's a lot of vocalizations without super clear words. She throws a ball underhand though! Of course she's more of an athlete than a speaker. 

June is a super dancer. It's one of my all time favorite things to see. We'll put on music in the car and just watch her do her pointing dance where she literally just points in the air to the beat. She also can clap to the beat. It's impressive seeing as how I can't even do that. I'm not sure if she can sort by color,shape or size - I'll have to to test that. She definitely can kick a ball forward. Again, this child is a natural athlete.

So far, I've really enjoyed every stage she's been in but this one is super fun. She's a natural performer and makes us laugh all day. The flip side is definitely her very strong willed personality where she can throw a fit like nobodies business. You take the good with the bad, I guess. 

I'm now 30 weeks pregnant and this boy is h-e-a-v-y. I asked Dr. Man if he thinks Theodore will be bigger than June and he said, "I actually think he'll be around the same or smaller." I'm still betting on bigger but it is true that I'm measuring right on schedule whereas with June I was consistently measuring a week or two ahead. I've also gained less weight at the same point as I had with her. As of yesterday, at 30 weeks, I've gained 18 pounds. At 32 weeks with June, I had gained 26. Granted, I could still gain 8 pounds in the next two weeks, I'm doubting that I will. Like I said in this post, I wanted to stay under 200lbs and only gain around 20lbs. I started this pregnancy 10lbs heavier so I think I'm actually doing pretty okay. I try not to beat myself up over silly things like weight but 6 pounds in 4 weeks is a lot. Again, Dr Man is really great and told me that 18lbs in 30 weeks is awesome and he's very pleased. What is weird to me, though, is that I lost weight in the beginning and at 18 weeks had only really gained one pound. So technically, I've gained 17lbs in 12 weeks. Not as great sounding as 18 in 30 but whatever. Anyway, enough about weight! 

I was in the hospital nearly two weeks ago for what we all thought was a kidney infection. Turns out, it was nothing. The good news is, I got two days of a little vacation and while it wasn't really fun being bed ridden and having to get help to pee (every 45 minutes, seriously, I've never peed so much in my life), it was exactly what I needed. I am not good at resting and haven't quite found that balance of house/family and my own health/baby needs. We did find out that Theo is a wild man and will NOT show his face on ultrasounds. Neither did June. I hope that isn't an indication of his personality because it sure was for her! I also got to hear a baby being born while there. I cannot put into words how amazing and incredible it was to hear that. I heard a woman moan, "OH GOD! OH GOD!" and not seconds later a baby cried. I heard a roar of coos and cries and it immediately transported me back to that feeling of relief and love when June was placed on my chest for the first time. There is absolutely nothing like that in the world.

Tonight we're meeting with our incredible and fabulous doula, Becky. I'm really excited to get things finalized (and started!) on our birth plan for Theo's big day. Even though we'll be having a c-section, it's still important to us to have someone there to be with me in recovery so Thomas can focus only on Theodore. My mom will also be there and as much as you all know I love my mother, she's not the most reliable emotional support. She just loves her grandbabies so much that she's really there for them and that's what I want her there for! Only 9 more weeks until we get to meet this little man! 

I know this is a long post but here's what you're really here for - pictures!

Sunday morning fun. I love that sweet face!

Getting that grilled cheese at In'N'Out!

That face. Oh, that face.

A few days difference between the two but you get the idea. I think I look fatter with June because it was late July/August and freaking HOT. And I'm actually wearing makeup in Theo's. Lucky boy.

16 Months, Debbie Downer, & 27 Weeks

Let me start by apologizing. I'm sorry I've been MIA. I've been pretty down and, frankly, depressed lately. When I feel depressed I tend to withdraw and become a little bit of a hermit. I talked to my doctor because some days I can't stop crying. I try to not let on to anyone, including family, that I'm feeling so helpless but it was becoming too much. Dr. Man suggested I get in touch with a therapist and explore therapy. He agreed that life these days is pretty hectic and that alone could be making me feel like I do but with my history of depression that it's a good idea to talk to a professional. I don't feel like this is my typical depression that I've dealt with before, that - for me - is a much deeper and darker place. That depression keeps in me bed and contemplating all sorts of negative things. This is much more surface level depression. I'm overwhelmed and very weepy. So guys, keep me in your thoughts. If you've ever dealt with depression and need someone to talk to please don't hesitate to reach out to me. I've been through it all! 

Now on to some fun stuff! June is 16 months old! Right now she has RSV and we've had one of the worst and saddest weeks we've ever had. But before this week, she was as happy as my darling could be. She's really becoming such a big kid. Tonight we took a bath together and she was pretty interested in my belly. She helped me wash it with soap and then washed her own. It was the most fun we've had all week! Let's look at our Baby Center chart - 

16 months

Turns the pages of abook Has temper tantrums when frustrated Becomes attached to a soft toy or other object

Discovers the joy of climbing Stacks three blocks Uses spoon or fork Learns the correct way to use common objects (e.g., the telephone)

Takes off one piece of clothing by himself Gets finicky about food Switches from two naps to one

June is a voracious reader and loves turning the pages. Temper tantrums...um...yeah. Those have been going on for a while. She's been very attached to her dear Bunny for months.

Oh man, she's definitely discovered the joy of climbing! She an climb onto the couch, chairs, and onto our bed. Junie is the master of the fork. It's pretty adorable. She also knows how to correctly use common objects.

June can put on and take off multiple pieces of clothes - pants, shirts, shoes, socks. In fact, mornings are a little crazy because she often refuses to let us put clothes on her, she must do it herself. Sadly, she's becoming finicky about food. She used to eat ANYTHING but the kid has a mind of her own. She's not a huge fan of chicken which was a huge staple of our diet. June's naps went down to one about 4 months ago. So incredibly sad for me but her afternoon nap is generally about 2.5 - 3 hours which is plenty of time for me to rest and get a few things done around the house. 

Another big thing in the Kellogg world is that I'm officially on disability. I've been off work for nearly 3 weeks and it's been wonderful for our family. I'm still learning to rest and how to slow down but it's been really nice to spend time with June and craft and lay in bed. 

We've made it to the third trimester! Baby Theodore is growing and moving like crazy. It's interesting how different these pregnancies have been. I'm carrying much, much lower. He prefers my right side as well as digging into my right hip/bladder as slowly and hard as he can. I don't remember being this uncomfortable with June! He does the most hilariously painful thing - Theo with burrow his head into my bladder, two feet into my ribs and his tiny hands into my hips. He completely stretches out into what feels like a starfish position. I wish I had my own ultrasound machine to see exactly what he's doing in there! 11 more weeks until we get to meet sweet boy!

Quick update on my weight: I started this pregnancy at 179 and told myself that I could not gain more than 20 pounds. I do not want to be over 200lbs. I had done really well, mainly because I was so sick and didn't gain any weight until I was 18 weeks. My 22 week check up was the day after Christmas. I was a little scared to step on the scale but figured it couldn't be that bad. It was. I gained 8lbs. IN FOUR WEEKS. I had done that with June also but not until 28 weeks. So after that I got serious. I cut down my carbs, I watched what I shoved into my face and I drank a ton more water. So four more weeks later, at my 26 week check up, I had only gained two pounds. While I wish it had been nothing, it was better than 8! So I'm now up to 190 and have 11 weeks to gain 10ish pounds. I'm giving myself a little more leeway and hoping to stay under 205 but hey, I'm happy with this now. My next check up is at 30 weeks so I'm curious how much I will have gained then! 


Sorry for the piling on of info and down-er-ness but I needed to get it off my chest! And NOW FOR PICTURES!

My darling baby doll. I just love that face!

26 weeks pregnant with June and 26 weeks with Theo. I should start doing more side by sides!

Probably the saddest picture of my doll baby ever. This was the first day of being sick and she was miserable. I can't wait until this passes!