17 Months, 30 Weeks and Hospital Visits

Apparently I'm going to write once a month from here on out. Sorry, I'm a slacker! I can't even lie and say that I've been doing fun things. If you follow me on Instagram (find me - AmberKellogg) you'll have seen that a lot of what I've been doing is...laying around. And complaining. And eating. But today is a good day. I napped for a solid hour in which I was out cold and it felt like 4 hours. Absolutely wonderful. So let's move onto the kiddos.

June is now 17 months old and it's so weird to me that she's almost a year and a half. I really wonder how the pregnancy has changed her. She's so smart and I often wonder if she's growing up faster because of how fast my body and our family is changing. Does that make sense? She's a sweet, sweet baby these days. She has been giving me completely free kisses where she will be playing around the house, come over to me, put all of her stuff down and kiss me. It is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. Seriously. So incredible. Let's look at our Baby Center Chart.

Child's Age

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)

17 months

Uses six wordsregularly Enjoys pretend games Likes riding toys

Feeds doll Speaks more clearly Throws a ball underhand

Dances to music Sorts toys by color, shape, or size Kicks ball forward

Her words are still not completely there. I would say she uses 6 words - yeah, hi, momma/mommy, daddy...maybe not 6. She has said several words within the past week completely out of the blue, like Mickey. I had a Mickey Mouse mug and she looked at it and said, "Mickey!" Loved it. Also, what do you think about counting "momma" and "mommy" as different words? Because they're not the same but they are very close. Moving on, she does enjoy pretend games like playing with her baby doll. She nurses her baby, puts the baby to sleep, and today I even got a picture of her laying down for her nap with her baby. She's LOVED riding toys since she was like 11 months old. Still does.

She does feed her doll, like I said before. She is so cute nursing her dolls. I love that she just naturally does it even though she only nursed for a few weeks as a newborn. It's just such a natural instinct and she definitely picked that up. Speaking more clearly...oh man. Well, I guess she is but it's really not super clear still. She said, "please" the other day and that was pretty clear and a new word but it's a lot of vocalizations without super clear words. She throws a ball underhand though! Of course she's more of an athlete than a speaker. 

June is a super dancer. It's one of my all time favorite things to see. We'll put on music in the car and just watch her do her pointing dance where she literally just points in the air to the beat. She also can clap to the beat. It's impressive seeing as how I can't even do that. I'm not sure if she can sort by color,shape or size - I'll have to to test that. She definitely can kick a ball forward. Again, this child is a natural athlete.

So far, I've really enjoyed every stage she's been in but this one is super fun. She's a natural performer and makes us laugh all day. The flip side is definitely her very strong willed personality where she can throw a fit like nobodies business. You take the good with the bad, I guess. 

I'm now 30 weeks pregnant and this boy is h-e-a-v-y. I asked Dr. Man if he thinks Theodore will be bigger than June and he said, "I actually think he'll be around the same or smaller." I'm still betting on bigger but it is true that I'm measuring right on schedule whereas with June I was consistently measuring a week or two ahead. I've also gained less weight at the same point as I had with her. As of yesterday, at 30 weeks, I've gained 18 pounds. At 32 weeks with June, I had gained 26. Granted, I could still gain 8 pounds in the next two weeks, I'm doubting that I will. Like I said in this post, I wanted to stay under 200lbs and only gain around 20lbs. I started this pregnancy 10lbs heavier so I think I'm actually doing pretty okay. I try not to beat myself up over silly things like weight but 6 pounds in 4 weeks is a lot. Again, Dr Man is really great and told me that 18lbs in 30 weeks is awesome and he's very pleased. What is weird to me, though, is that I lost weight in the beginning and at 18 weeks had only really gained one pound. So technically, I've gained 17lbs in 12 weeks. Not as great sounding as 18 in 30 but whatever. Anyway, enough about weight! 

I was in the hospital nearly two weeks ago for what we all thought was a kidney infection. Turns out, it was nothing. The good news is, I got two days of a little vacation and while it wasn't really fun being bed ridden and having to get help to pee (every 45 minutes, seriously, I've never peed so much in my life), it was exactly what I needed. I am not good at resting and haven't quite found that balance of house/family and my own health/baby needs. We did find out that Theo is a wild man and will NOT show his face on ultrasounds. Neither did June. I hope that isn't an indication of his personality because it sure was for her! I also got to hear a baby being born while there. I cannot put into words how amazing and incredible it was to hear that. I heard a woman moan, "OH GOD! OH GOD!" and not seconds later a baby cried. I heard a roar of coos and cries and it immediately transported me back to that feeling of relief and love when June was placed on my chest for the first time. There is absolutely nothing like that in the world.

Tonight we're meeting with our incredible and fabulous doula, Becky. I'm really excited to get things finalized (and started!) on our birth plan for Theo's big day. Even though we'll be having a c-section, it's still important to us to have someone there to be with me in recovery so Thomas can focus only on Theodore. My mom will also be there and as much as you all know I love my mother, she's not the most reliable emotional support. She just loves her grandbabies so much that she's really there for them and that's what I want her there for! Only 9 more weeks until we get to meet this little man! 

I know this is a long post but here's what you're really here for - pictures!

Sunday morning fun. I love that sweet face!

Getting that grilled cheese at In'N'Out!

That face. Oh, that face.

A few days difference between the two but you get the idea. I think I look fatter with June because it was late July/August and freaking HOT. And I'm actually wearing makeup in Theo's. Lucky boy.

16 Months, Debbie Downer, & 27 Weeks

Let me start by apologizing. I'm sorry I've been MIA. I've been pretty down and, frankly, depressed lately. When I feel depressed I tend to withdraw and become a little bit of a hermit. I talked to my doctor because some days I can't stop crying. I try to not let on to anyone, including family, that I'm feeling so helpless but it was becoming too much. Dr. Man suggested I get in touch with a therapist and explore therapy. He agreed that life these days is pretty hectic and that alone could be making me feel like I do but with my history of depression that it's a good idea to talk to a professional. I don't feel like this is my typical depression that I've dealt with before, that - for me - is a much deeper and darker place. That depression keeps in me bed and contemplating all sorts of negative things. This is much more surface level depression. I'm overwhelmed and very weepy. So guys, keep me in your thoughts. If you've ever dealt with depression and need someone to talk to please don't hesitate to reach out to me. I've been through it all! 

Now on to some fun stuff! June is 16 months old! Right now she has RSV and we've had one of the worst and saddest weeks we've ever had. But before this week, she was as happy as my darling could be. She's really becoming such a big kid. Tonight we took a bath together and she was pretty interested in my belly. She helped me wash it with soap and then washed her own. It was the most fun we've had all week! Let's look at our Baby Center chart - 

16 months

Turns the pages of abook Has temper tantrums when frustrated Becomes attached to a soft toy or other object

Discovers the joy of climbing Stacks three blocks Uses spoon or fork Learns the correct way to use common objects (e.g., the telephone)

Takes off one piece of clothing by himself Gets finicky about food Switches from two naps to one

June is a voracious reader and loves turning the pages. Temper tantrums...um...yeah. Those have been going on for a while. She's been very attached to her dear Bunny for months.

Oh man, she's definitely discovered the joy of climbing! She an climb onto the couch, chairs, and onto our bed. Junie is the master of the fork. It's pretty adorable. She also knows how to correctly use common objects.

June can put on and take off multiple pieces of clothes - pants, shirts, shoes, socks. In fact, mornings are a little crazy because she often refuses to let us put clothes on her, she must do it herself. Sadly, she's becoming finicky about food. She used to eat ANYTHING but the kid has a mind of her own. She's not a huge fan of chicken which was a huge staple of our diet. June's naps went down to one about 4 months ago. So incredibly sad for me but her afternoon nap is generally about 2.5 - 3 hours which is plenty of time for me to rest and get a few things done around the house. 

Another big thing in the Kellogg world is that I'm officially on disability. I've been off work for nearly 3 weeks and it's been wonderful for our family. I'm still learning to rest and how to slow down but it's been really nice to spend time with June and craft and lay in bed. 

We've made it to the third trimester! Baby Theodore is growing and moving like crazy. It's interesting how different these pregnancies have been. I'm carrying much, much lower. He prefers my right side as well as digging into my right hip/bladder as slowly and hard as he can. I don't remember being this uncomfortable with June! He does the most hilariously painful thing - Theo with burrow his head into my bladder, two feet into my ribs and his tiny hands into my hips. He completely stretches out into what feels like a starfish position. I wish I had my own ultrasound machine to see exactly what he's doing in there! 11 more weeks until we get to meet sweet boy!

Quick update on my weight: I started this pregnancy at 179 and told myself that I could not gain more than 20 pounds. I do not want to be over 200lbs. I had done really well, mainly because I was so sick and didn't gain any weight until I was 18 weeks. My 22 week check up was the day after Christmas. I was a little scared to step on the scale but figured it couldn't be that bad. It was. I gained 8lbs. IN FOUR WEEKS. I had done that with June also but not until 28 weeks. So after that I got serious. I cut down my carbs, I watched what I shoved into my face and I drank a ton more water. So four more weeks later, at my 26 week check up, I had only gained two pounds. While I wish it had been nothing, it was better than 8! So I'm now up to 190 and have 11 weeks to gain 10ish pounds. I'm giving myself a little more leeway and hoping to stay under 205 but hey, I'm happy with this now. My next check up is at 30 weeks so I'm curious how much I will have gained then! 


Sorry for the piling on of info and down-er-ness but I needed to get it off my chest! And NOW FOR PICTURES!

My darling baby doll. I just love that face!

26 weeks pregnant with June and 26 weeks with Theo. I should start doing more side by sides!

Probably the saddest picture of my doll baby ever. This was the first day of being sick and she was miserable. I can't wait until this passes!

The Hand I'm Dealt

Baby Theo has been hard on me. Hard on us, I should say. First trimester was full of puke and headaches and so far the second trimester has been the trimester of exhaustion and pain. While I am looking forward to the third trimester, I'm looking more forward to April 23.

I haven't been feeling awesome, and in turn, my emotions have taken over. It's hard to make it through the day without welling up with tears or, more likely, overflowing with tears. My pregnancy with June made my emotions so level but this time I'm quite a wreck. I don't know if it's because I'm having a boy or because I feel exhausted every minute of the day but I'm feeling pretty emotionally drained.

My doctor has taken note of my physical discomfort and how that's wearing me thin. He highly recommended I go on disability and even more highly recommended that I get more help when on disability. Apparently he knows you don't rest much with a 15 month old. So January 14, I go on short term disability. My mom will have June two days a week and my mother-in-law will have her one day a week. I have quite a bit of guilt regarding this but frankly, I'm on the brink of an exhausted breakdown.

To be honest, I'm ready to rest but still worried about work/money/life in general. I don't quite know what will happen with my job. I do get a portion of my pay while on disability but after 22 weeks of being away from work (14 weeks until he gets here and 8 weeks maternity leave because of the c-section) I just don't know where I'll stand with my company. I hate the thought of leaving a 2 month old but at the same time, I do enjoy working.

So friends, I'm in need of some good thoughts, prayers, vibes, voodoo, whatever you believe. This transition is proving to be more stressful than I expected and I wish I could sleep for the next few weeks.

Also, any suggestions for good books? I'm going to attempt to read and truly rest as much as possible in the next 3 months. Wish me luck!

15 Months Old, 22 Weeks Pregnant and Christmas

We've got a lot going on in the Kellogg home. June is officially 15 months old, baby Theo has been in my belly for 22 weeks now, tomorrow is Christmas and yesterday was Thomas' and my one year wedding anniversary. I wanted to write a quick blog about it all but I have a feeling this will turn into something longer. You can pick and choose what you read, I promise I won't be mad.

June is 15 months old. It blows my mind how she's like a real mini human now. She's had a pretty bad cold for the past week and it's very sad. This is the first time she's been sick like this and while it's not quite as bad as the Hand Foot and Mouth sickness went through (thank God!), she's miserable nonetheless. She has a wet cough that sounded a lot like croup to me so I took her to the doctor last week and it's just a virus so we're doing Motrin, some Benadryl to dry her out and lots of cuddling. She's started sleeping in our bed and while I always dreamed of co-sleeping with my kids - it's much different than I expected! She's not a cuddler and takes up most of our king size bed. Most mornings I wake up with a foot in my face or a head in my shoulder blades. I really don't mind it but I do worry a little about when Theo is born and how our transition will go. I planned on co-sleeping with him because I'll be nursing but now that June has invaded our bed I don't want to have a newborn and a toddler in there at once. Any advice? 

Let's take a look at our Baby Center Milestone Chart. 

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)

Plays with ball Uses three words regularly Walks backward

Scribbles with a crayon Runs Adopts "no" as his favorite word

"Helps" around the house Puts his fingers to his mouth and says "shhh"

(Can I pat myself on the back real quick for not messing up the chart this month? Holla!)

So June LOVES throwing and kicking balls. I wish I knew how to link to a video because our dear friend Leo was cracking her up by kicking a soccer ball the other day. It was possibly the cutest 4 minutes of my life. She uses the words Momma, Dadda and yeah. She's starting to babble a lot more but still doesn't have a ton of words. I'm not too worried though. Walking backward? Honestly, I don't know that we've ever had a need to do that. I guess I have seen her playing with her cousins and if they push a toy with her standing at the back she will walk backward with it. But does that count? 

June LOVES crayons. We just started coloring this month and she's really into it. She's been running for two months, wild girl. I don't think she says no yet. Thank goodness. I'm sure that's coming.

She does help around the house. We can tell her to put her clothes in her hamper and she will do that as well as kind of picking up her toys. I'll have to test her with the "shh" thing. I don't think she's ever seen us do it so we'll see!

A week ago we had our official gender scan for baby boy. Our perinatologist was easily able to confirm that Theodore is a boy! Baby boy wasn't shy and gave us a show! He was also much less active than June was at this point. I'm praying that holds true for after he's born too. The ultrasound was amazing. As many of you know, I have a syndrome called Asherman's. I'm not going to go into it again but look around the blog and you'll find lots of info about it. So Dr. Risky (not his real name, I'm dubbing him this because he's a high-risk doctor...and it makes me laugh) showed us all of Theodore's body and his organs working in perfect form. These ultrasounds are my favorite because you get to see, in depth, the inner workings of their tiny bodies. It's absolutely amazing to watch them stretch their muscles and rub their eyes but then to see their heart beating away and their kidneys flushing fluids. During this ultrasound we also saw that the gestational sac grew around the scar tissue I have left. I only have two strands of thick scar tissue left in my uterus as this sweet baby has opened it almost all the way but there's one larger one that the baby is growing around. It's hard to explain and Dr. Risky had to show us from several angles for us to fully understand what was going on. But, basically, the baby implanted in a great spot and then grew around the scar tissue which slowly pushed all of it open. So this last hold out strand of tissue is being pressed on by the sac. He said it may open and stretch or it may be too thick to get through. Either way, the baby is growing perfectly and using the space he has to keep moving and growing. It was all pretty insane to see in front of us. 

Our c-section is officially scheduled for April 23 at 715am. That's my dad's 50th birthday and he is very excited to share his special day. We also have more than a few double (and triple) birthdays on each side of the family so this is an exciting tradition. My sister was born on my grandmother's 50th birthday too! April will be here before we know it! 

Christmas is upon us and I am so excited to see June's reaction to presents. She wasn't interested in opening things on her birthday but we'll see this time! We even have a few things under the tree for Theo. 

I hope everyone has a safe and fun Christmas! 

June looks so sad. At least she's showing emotion! (Also, my Grandpa is a real beard Santa - he is the best Santa ever. Seriously.) ((Also, why does my belly look so weird?!))

June and Santa having a staring contest.

SHE'S ALMOST SMILING.

(From L-R) My mom (Lisa), my dear friend Stacy, me, my sister Emily and my sister's dear friend Kelsey. We made the Pioneer Woman's cinnamon rolls and they were incredible!

It's A...

BABY! 

With June I had dreams, lots of dreams, that she was a girl. I had one dream where we found out at the ultrasound but not through her genitalia but through her teeth. It was weird. This time I have only had one "premonition." I was falling asleep and lightly dreaming (I could write a whole separate blog about dreams), a baby was placed into my arms and I just knew it was a boy. 

And I was right. 

Theodore Louis Kellogg will be joining his big sister on April 23, 2013. We're going back and forth on his nickname - I like Teddy and Thomas likes Theo. I think we'll see what fits him best when he arrives but for now we've been calling him Theo. And Theo is a very, very low kicker!

I believe that we have the best model for raising opposite gender siblings close in age - my brother and sister. Emily was born November 28 and not two years later, on November 12, Ian was born. Emily was tiny, Ian was big. They were mistaken for twins nearly every day. Emily and Ian did everything together. They played with toys designed for one gender or the other but more often than not, they created their own games. Emily often called herself "Big Sally" and Ian was "Little Nick." Their games required very little - just one another and imagination. Growing up and playing sports together, they had each other on the field to keep each other company.

I cannot wait to see June take Theo under her wing. I'm excited to see her show him the world through her passionate eyes. June has my very strong personality and I'm so curious if Theo will have Thomas' laid back attitude. 

We are so excited to meet baby Theo. 

Baby Theo at nearly 12 weeks. His nose is what tipped us off that he's a boy...

Emily and Ian at probably 3.5 and 18 months. They have such a special bond.

Boy or Girl?

I want to write a whole blog about the old wives tales and make this fun declaration of what the tales tell. But frankly, I'm so worn out. Holy moly, I went to Walgreens and barely made a lap around and had to sit down. It was so silly! I do have this side by side picture of me at 19ish weeks pregnant with June and this picture from yesterday (19 weeks 3 days). I feel like I'm carrying super low, like incredibly low. I promise I'll announce the gender next week! 

So make a guess! 

Oh belly.

Keeping Up with the Kelloggs

I'm sitting here writing this from the comfort of my couch, a heating pad at my back and our Christmas tree all aglow. From this idyllic picture you would never know that I'm also contracting like I'm in labor. That would be super cool if I were 39 weeks pregnant. But I'm not. I'm 19 weeks and 3 days. And actually, labor would be bad for my body even at 39 weeks. That's beside the point. 

Back to my contractions - they got bad enough last night to send me to the emergency room. In addition to contractions I was also feeling light-headed, a little short of breath and just not right. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. At our local hospital they don't send you to Labor and Delivery until 20 weeks. I'm a few days shy and L&D didn't want me up there. Super sad face. I waited, had blood drawn, waited, had an ultrasound, went to a room, waited, had my OB check my cervix, waited, had a shot of pain meds, waited and finally came home at 1am. 

The outcome of this little jaunt was kind of a question mark. Dr. Man has never had a patient with Asherman's syndrome nor has he ever heard of a patient with Asherman's syndrome getting pregnant. All of this was pretty funny to me - Dr. Man had never really addressed my future fertility while I was going through all of my surgeries and now it seems that he was trying to figure out how to tell me that we would never get pregnant. I think he was hoping that every surgery would fix the problem but as it got worse I questioned it less and he was less reassuring. I knew the diagnosis of Asherman's was pretty bad and that fertility was pretty slim. According to Wikipedia's page on Asherman's the pregnancy rates are as follows, "Pregnancy and live birth rate has been reported to be related to the initial severity of the adhesions with 93, 78, and 57% pregnancies achieved after treatment of mild, moderate and severe adhesions, respectively and resulting in 81, 66, and 32% live birth rates, respectively." My initial adhesions where somewhere between moderate and severe. So those rates aren't great. And the live birth rates are even worse. (Why the hell did I even choose to read that again NOW?!)  

<sup>The point of all of this is that Asherman's is rare and I'm basically a guinea pig in this pregnancy. Now at 19 weeks and a few days they think I'm in preterm labor. The major theory in why this is happening is because of the extensive scar tissue in my uterus. While the baby has completely opened my uterus, there is still quite a bit of scar tissue lining the top. I had over 30% of my uterus that was scarred shut so when that opened it created a scar tissue covering that's now starting to stretch. A normal uterus stretching can cause a little bit of pain and discomfort but scar tissue stretching can be very painful. My poor uterus is in a ton of pain and is very irritable. For normal preterm labor they can give a myriad of drugs to stop contractions but because I'm only 19 weeks they're really not sure what to do. My "prescription" is for bed rest as much as possible and pain medication.  I'm still going to work during the morning as I was and rest in the afternoon however I can.  

So friends, please keep up that good juju for us! We had a great ultrasound where baby showed us their gender and is still measuring a full week ahead. We're keeping the gender close to us for now but you're more than welcome to take a guess! We'll probably "announce" it sometime next week. We're keeping our fingers crossed that our sweet baby continues to grow and stays put for 20 more weeks.</sup> 

^{Really not the best picture of me but a pretty cute one of the belly. Take note of the size, shape and general highness or lowness.}