April Sun

The other day Thomas was looking over my shoulder while I read a number of my favorite blogs. "You need more pictures!" was his only note for my blog. While I agree, and I do take a crap load pictures of June, I just never think that anyone wants to look at a gazillion pictures of my life. But, for fun, here's our day in pictures.

We tried tuna for the first time today!

 "Are you for realz?"

 "Oh, wow, this is pretty good!"

My lunch. I've gone off gluten but every now and then I NEED a sandwich. That's about all I ate of my delicioso turkey, mayo, avocado, and munster cheese sammy.

Grumpy pants when she woke up from her nap.

 June proposing to Henry on our quick afternoon walk.

 June in her summer jammies and her Poppy hair!*

*We call my dad Poppy instead of Grandpa. After my baths when I was little my dad would slick my hair back like June's. It would be completely wacky in the morning or he would braid it very tightly back and it would still be completely wacky. June looks like a slimy 80's business man.

So there is our day. I also saw Dr. Latino this morning for a check up and the good news is that I'm pretty awesome at knowing when I'm ovulating because he could tell that I had just ovulated this weekend and BAM - that's what I had down in my handy iPeriod app. I'm oddly proud of this fact. 

It's the little things in life.

Also, that random fluid in my uterus is gone. He is giving me a few names of infertility specialists to get a few second opinions, if I want. He said most specialists will either not touch me with a 10-foot pole, or want to start every test (including counts for both Thomas and I), or keep us on the same path we're on. I'm pretty confident that the only speed bump right now is going to be the Asherman's so I'll call around but I really like Dr. Latino and trust we're doing the right things. 

PS I seriously cannot get enough of June's face. It's normal to be obsessed with how gorgeous your baby is, right?

 

Hypochondria

There are very few things worse for a hypochondriac than to actually have an illness, disease, syndrome, disorder, etc and double that worseness if the malady is rare. 

I am a very self-aware hypochondriac. I remember sitting on the landing between the master bedroom and the dining room at my grandparent's house reading their medical dictionary. (Who owns those, anyway? I wonder where that went...) I loved to use medical terms and exclaim, "My spleen hurts!" 

When I was pregnant with June I was very careful to explain to Dr. Man that I erred on the side of paranoia when it came to my health. I always armed myself with a notebook full of questions for every visit. He was incredibly patient and explained his answers with full medical terminology and balanced with the gentle reassurance I needed. Thomas was surprised with how low-key I was and how great I felt most days. I have to say, I impressed myself too. 

I officially have Asherman's Syndrome. Basically, my post-pregnancy, post-d&c uterus has scarred itself shut; instead of healing in a healthy manner, it just scarred onto itself. I have about 75% of my uterus surface area that is "healthy" and viable. The remaining 25% is shut. Gone. Unavailable. 

This is a problem for a few reasons:

At the moment, I have fluid in my uterus from only God knows what. Even Dr. Latino has no clue what it's from. However, we do know that it cannot come out. It could be stuck in that scar tissue. It could be that the bottom of my uterus is too scarred for it to be released.

For the future this is a problem because when we choose to get pregnant, there is a limited amount of surface area for the embryo to implant. This raises the risk of miscarriage. This raises my anxiety. Dr. Latino has taken me off estrogen and told us that our new plan is "hands off." His thinking is that getting pregnant right now may be the best thing for my body. It may open my uterus and give it time to heal. Is this ideal for us? No. Do we desperately want another baby even if it's RIGHTTHISMINUTE? Yes.

Side note: It's so incredibly odd for me to say, "we're (thinking of) trying for baby #2!" Why? Well because that basically just means, "we're having a lot of sex!" Think about it. It's just a declaration of a lot of unprotected sex. 

So I guess to sum up my health right now I'd say that it's problematic. If we can get pregnant, it will be considered high risk from day one. I will more than likely need to be on hormones to assist the embryo with growth and development. I would love to hear from friends and readers if anyone has ever had any sort of reproductive issues. I truly accidentally got pregnant with June and so this whole thing is so foreign to me. How did you decide to "try" to have a baby? Did you check your ovulation? Was it like the movies where you rushed home because you were ovulating? If you don't feel comfortable with leaving a comment here, please email me! 

amber.losey@gmail.com

I NEED this plush toy. Please, someone, buy it for me. Seriously. www.iheartguts.com/uterus.