Heart's on the Outside
Amber, Thomas and June - an Orange County family living in love.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
30 Days
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Crashing
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Sleep and Laundry
I'm quite aware that I have become a horrible blogger. I fully intend to blame the fact that my laptop is dying and typing on my tablet is hard. Anyway, I'm back (for now)!
So much is going on in our neck of the woods. My sweet girl will be 2 tomorrow. It's mind blowing that this little person has only been with us for two years and yet that two years have already passed. We have made a huge step forward this week. Until Sunday June still had a bottle. I know, her teeth! I knew she needed to get off of it but I just couldn't imagine going through the weaning process. After a particularly rough night Thomas and I were at the end of our ropes. We've not slept well in 2 years and it was wearing us down. Monday morning I decided to do something about it. I'm not proud of it because I feel like a mean mommy but it's working. She went to lay down for her nap and asked for a baba. I made it like normal but put taco seasoning on the nipple. I had a glass of water standing by knowing she would need to drink something. She touched the bottle to her mouth and her face was heartbreaking. I honestly felt like I betrayed her. But, the baba is now yucky. She didn't nap that day but it was worth the overall goal. She still asks once in a while but we tell her babas are yucky and she has generally accepted this. Now here is the best part - last night she slept 9 STRAIGHT hours!!!! She has never slept more than maybe 5 hours in a row. I read the book, "No Cry Sleep Solution" and loved the ideas in it. The only thing we truly changed was our routine. We now eat dinner, take a bath and read books but all starting at 6. We used to be kind of willy nilly about it but since starting a strict routine and getting her in bed by 730, she is sleeping much better. She had been going to sleep closer to 9 and still waking up at 630. She hasnt napped all week but I know she needs that still as she's still not getting enough sleep for her age. So mommas who haven't slept in eons, there is hope! (full disclosure - I still wake up with Theo so give me some leeway if I seem grumpy sometimes.)
A few weeks ago I got fed up with my house. It was messy and cluttered ans stressing me out. I created a chore list and while I don't follow it precisely, I did learn a nice trick. DO LAUNDRY EVERY DAY. With as much laundry as this family creates you would think I would have learned this a long time ago but no, I'm just now getting it. So I do one load of laundry to completion (folded and put away) a day. It has significantly reduced my stress over the house.
Do you have a chore you do every day? What is your laundry situation? I want to know!
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Theo the Great and Powerful
It's been 12 weeks since that little man Theo has come into our lives. I swore that I would write his birth story faster than I wrote June's but that was clearly a lie. So here is a quick version of his swift entrance into the world.
On Monday, April 15 I felt like crap. I woke up feeling like I hadn't slept (I probably hadnt) and like I had the flu. I think Thomas took June to my mom's that morning to let me sleep a little longer but I felt like I needed to hibernate. I honestly dont remember much from that day other than napping, having really bad stomach problems and eating pasta. I was in somewhat of a daze all day. Thomas picked June up from my mom's at 5pm and came home to me laying in bed, contracting. I had texted several friends who had gone into labor on their own because I really didnt know what it felt like beside contractions. They all said not to worry too much since I was only 38 weeks. My contractions got closer together pretty fast. By 630 I was suspecting labor. They had been coming about 5 minutes apart for an hour but I didnt want to jump the gun. Thomas got June bathed and in bed and by 730 we started timing the contractions. 5 minutes apart, each lasting for a minute. I breathed through them and while they were painful, they werent unmanagable. I didnt want to talk and was eerily quiet. By 9pm I was having contractions every 4 minutes but still wanted to make sure they were real. I decided to take a shower but that didnt slow them down. Finally at 10pm I called my doctor unsure of the protocol because I was scheduled for a c-section a week later. He said to go get checked out. I didnt want to bring our bags because I was sure we would be sent home. Thomas brought them just in case. My mom came over to be with June and we were on our way. To be completely honest I dont remember anything from the drive. I was pretty focused on just breathing and dealing with the contractions. When we got there I was hooked up to the monitors and sure enough, I was in active labor. The nurse checked my cervix and to my surprise I was already 4cm dilated and 100% effaced. My poor body was doing all of this for naught. I dont know why I was so shocked when they started to prep me for surgery but I remember turning to Thomas and saying, holy shit, we're having a baby! We joked that we needed to wait until midnight so he could share a birthday with his Uncle Clint and it kind of scared me when the nurse said we may not make it because I was progressing so fast! I had to have two IVs because of my bleeding risk and the anesthesiologist had to out them both in because my veins were being jerks. I was prepped and ready to go so fast that we didnt even have time to call our doula. Thomas ended up talking to her right before going into the operating room but she was attending another birth!
As I got my spinal the doctors kept talking about the music - some crappy radio. We laughed because they played a BeeGees song and then No Doubt. I impressed them by knowing every song that came on. Thomas was brought in and they started. I felt a lot of pressure and very nauseous. I asked Dr Man to tell me everyhing he was doing as he was doing it but dont really remember hearing it. As they reached my uterus, at 103am, Celine Dion's "I'm Your Lady" came on and Thomas said it was mine and Theo's song. They cut in and pulled his head out and before he was out the wnole way he was crying. It was a deep, gasping cry that didnt sound right. Dr Man pulled him over the curtain for me to see. My first thought were - he's a square! He truly was a bowling ball baby with no neck.
Before I really knew what was going on they had him wrapped up, let me kiss him and took him to the NICU. There I was. still open and alone. Thomas went with Theo and I was still in surgery. I felt sick and sad. I could hear the assistant surgeon saying to Dr Man, "this is incredible. What a miracle." I was stapled and stitched and taken to recovery. I didnt know how big he was or if he was okay until I had been in recovery for at least 30 minutes. Finally the nurse got his stats and kept confirming I was really only 38 weeks. My bowling ball was 8lbs 11oz and 19.5in!
In the next hour I learned that Theo's lung was partially collapsed. It could have been from many things but their best guess was that he was very squished and in an awkward position thus collapsing his lung. I also found that I did indeed have placenta accreta and that my uterus had formed this weird tunnel and that is where the placenta had embedded itself. The assistant surgeon had been so shocked because I was millimeters away from rupture. Had I labored any longer and put the uterus in more stress I would have ruptured and one or both of us would not be here today. Dr Man could feel his hand through the wall of my uterus, that is how thin it had gotten.
I wasnt able to see Theo until the next morning at 830. They made me get out of bed and walk around but I would have run a marathon to see my baby. Thomas wheeled me up to the 5th floor and I got to meet my boy. He was gorgeous. Fat, squishy and perfect. It would still be another 24 hours until I got to feed him and yet another 17 days until we were home as a family but my Theodore Louis is a strong and beautiful boy!
Theodore Louis
April 16, 2013
8lbs11oz 19.5in
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Breathing Deeply
And here's where I begin to lose my cool. Friday (yesterday) I had an appointment with Dr. Risky. Without boring you with every single detail, the overview is as follows:
- He asked why I was having a c-section. I, to be completely honest, don't know. My best guess was the potential of placenta accreta because of my history. He asked if I wanted a c-section. I broke down. No. I never had asked for that and I'm still not really comfortable with it. If it were completely up to me, I would deliver at home! More realistically, I would attempt a vaginal delivery at the hospital. After a lot of back and forth, and a lot of tears, he suddenly remembered that I had been punctured during my last surgery so he actually DID agree that a c-section was better and safer. He did say, however, that I should have been given more of a choice and presented the pros and cons of surgery vs. vaginal delivery. (For the record, I would have chosen a vaginal delivery despite my family's reservations.)
- He asked why I was wanting to deliver a week earlier than planned. Not something I requested so I didn't have an answer. I guess he was thinking that I had asked for this but I hadn't. He launched into the benefits of keeping baby in for an extra week, all of which I knew and had been worried about to begin with when presented with this early delivery. He was being very nice about all of this, I don't want it to sound like he was lecturing. That's not the case.
- He asked me if I could wait another week because pain and a big baby* are not medical reasons enough to take baby early. Yes, I can. That being said, we just rescheduled everyone and everything in our life to accommodate this new date. April 23rd is my dad's 50th birthday and so when we locked in that date (months ago) I was ecstatic. I was super happy that we were able to get the 16th when we rescheduled. Both my dad and brother-in-law would be so excited to share their birthdays with this baby. Our doula has to change her schedule. My mom has to change her schedule. My mother in law has to change her schedule. I know all of this seems silly but to a person who plans things to the minute, this is stressful. Very stressful.
- His official recommendation was to hold out that extra week. I am okay with that. I want a healthy baby. I want him to have the best possible start as we can possibly give him.
Here's a video of my belly and a fun trick I like to do.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
18 (1/2) months & 36 Weeks
I'm going to skip a lot of the moving updates because who cares? Let's just go straight to the fun things about Junie and Theo.
I just found out that babycenter.com discontinued their chart and frankly, I'm a little miffed! Now it's just going to sound like I'm bragging about my baby. I guess I'll just rattle off some things that she does that I love.
June can now do somersaults and it's hilarious. Our new house has stairs and she's pretty much mastered those. We still have gates (well, one gate at the top and are going to get one for the bottom) but she can walk up and down with no help. She holds on to the railing and is shockingly steady on her feet. Yet again, she's really quite the athlete.
She LOVES music. Miss Ashli comes to my mom's once a week and does an incredible music class for the daycare kids. June really loves grooving to the music and singing their fun songs. We turn on music while we eat dinner and she bops along and "sings." She doesn't have a ton of words yet. I'm a little concerned about that. She understands and follows directions, can sign about 5-6 phrases and has about 3ish words that she uses regularly. We talk to her all day, we read to her, we sing with her, I honestly don't know what else to do. Has anyone else had a daughter who was a late talker? I have read that if they're early walking then sometimes they're a little later talking. She started walking right before her first birthday so I don't think that's super early.
June loves to eat. She loves bread, more specifically. She is a carb queen. I have found myself making dinners without carbs just so she'll maybe eat something else. Tonight we had salsa chicken on lettuce with beans and cheese. She ate a ton of beans, some chicken and lots of cheese. The lettuce, despite being cut up, was still a little hard to eat. Her dessert was two clementines. All of this good eating definitely shows! She's 29.5lbs and 31.75in tall which puts her in the 95% for both. She's in mostly 2T-3T clothes. Her torso is kind of funny. 2T shirts are too short but 3T is a little baggy. So we kind of just try to find things that work and stick with those!
Overall, June is so much fun at a year and a half. I simply can't believe that she's going to be a big sister in TWENTY days! I think she's going to love her brother and relish her role as a big sis.
TWENTY days until Theodore is here. I'm kind of floored at how fast this pregnancy went. It did drag at times but it's really snuck up on me! I kind of started packing a bag for the hospital but I still live in a lot of the things I plan to pack, like my two pair of black yoga pants and a few nursing tanks. I don't really have other things to wear so those may have to wait until the last minute.
I'm feeling pretty...blah. I was actually feeling really great until about Saturday. Just all of a sudden I hit a wall and my body caught up to the fact that I'm 9 months pregnant. I am proud of myself for still running errands and keeping up with June. Not that I have a lot of choice in the matter but considering that I literally sat on the couch for the last month I was pregnant with June this is a huge deal. I'm just beginning to swell and it's mainly in my left foot. At the end of the day both ankles are gone but it's not as bad as it could be. My hands are great though and I can still wear my wedding rings. As of two weeks ago I had gained 23lbs and was up to 201lbs. I go tomorrow to see Dr. Man and will report back my weight gain. I have been pretty hungry lately so I hope I haven't gained something crazy like 10lbs. Fingers crossed!
Speaking of weight - let's start a pool for how much everyone thinks Theo will weigh! Here are some factors to help you guess:
- He will be born at 39 weeks and 1 day.
- June was born at the same gestational age and weighed 8lbs 4oz.
- I weighed 8lbs 11oz.
- Thomas was 9lbs and a few oz. (I'm not certain, I think it was like 2oz.)
- Theo measured a week ahead up until recently. He's measuring on track as of 34 weeks.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Vows
I've been wanting to post this for a while. Our one year wedding anniversary was December 23 and it had been a crazy first year of marriage. We continued to deal with my health complications, struggled to get pregnant, then actually got pregnant after we gave up, all while raising a free spirited daughter and trying to focus on our relationship. But here we are 14 months into a marriage, nearly 6 years into our relationship and we're both still standing.
Our vows were special. They were written by our officiant and rang true throughout our life. I love reading them because even though it's not the words that are the important part, it's the feeling behind them, I still need to be reminded of what we promised to each other. I've been neglecting our relationship and blaming the babies but it's time to put on my wife panties and be the woman Thomas married. (I have no idea what I mean by wife panties so don't ask.)
Here are our vows. We did say hell yeah and it was perfect. Thomas sang part of his and it was truly an encapsulation of my husband.
Thomas, do you take Amber to be your wife? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, forsaking all others and holding only unto her? (Hell yeah)
Will you please repeat this vow to Amber, saying after me: I, Thomas, take you, Amber, to be my wife and companion. I will be your rock. I will be your endless supply of hugs and kisses. I will be steadfast in times of peril. I will turn cartwheels in times of celebration. I will love you as the beautiful, young woman you are today, and I will love you as the cranky, crotchety old woman that you will some day become. I will be your man—yours and yours alone. And I will be that man forever and ever after.
Amber, do you take Thomas to be your husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only unto him? (Hell yeah)
Will you please repeat this vow to Thomas, saying after me: I, Amber, take you, Thomas, to be my husband and companion. I will be your rock. I will be your endless supply of hugs and kisses. I will be steadfast in times of peril. I will turn cartwheels in times of celebration. I will love you as the handsome, young man that you are today, and I will love you as the hunch-backed, ornery old man that you will some day become. I will be your woman—yours and yours alone. And I will be that woman forever and ever after.
We also danced to "Forever and Ever, Amen" by Randy Travis.
Forever and ever. And ever.